Suicidal Insanity
by babyskybluex3
Summary: That one day when Stephanie looked in DJ's diary. That one day where Stephanie regrets she ever read it. Stephanie suffers to tell... That one day that DJ's thoughts hurt the whole family...CHAPTER 7 UP!
1. Regret

Suicidal Insanity

That one day when Stephanie looked in DJ's diary. That one day where Stephanie regrets she ever read it. That one day that DJ's thoughts hurt the whole family...

--Stephanie's point of view--

That one night, I walked up the stairs and went into the bathroom. I got a toothbrush and a toothpaste out of the drawer. Of course, it was organized by none the less, Dad. I put toothpaste on the toothbrush and started to brush. I walked outside the bathroom into my room. But, as I soon as I walked in there, there was one thing that stood out, out of all things----DJ's diary. She never had it out. DJ always hid it in a spot that she thinks a place that no one will find it. Of course, it was my lucky day.

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February 2, 1993

Dear Diary,  
The alarm clock woke me up and Kimmy was waiting downstairs for me. I packed my things and went out without saying goodbye. Steve had his car outside honking. Oh, how I love Steve, but that today that love fell out of my heart. Steve drove us to the school. He walked with me to my locker and I said bye to him and Kimmy. I walked to my class feeling like crap. I sat in the front as always. My teacher was passing out the tests. She flipped mine upside down on my desk speechless. I slowly flipped it over...finding a big "F" across it. When I looked at that F, I knew Dad was going to give me a lot of lectures when I give this to him. Well, so I didn't. I felt horrible, this was going to make a big difference to my report card. I hate life. After school, I walked towards the front door in the hallways. Then I heard Steve...and another girl talking. I quickly hid behind a wall but enough to hear them. The girl was saying stuff about me---bad stuff. I wanted to punch her in the face so bad, but I stood hidden. Steve actually agreed to what that girl said! I couldn't believe. The one I loved so much, was saying crap about me! Now, I hated him as much as I hate that girl. I hate life. I came home. Dad was sitting on the dining room table with his hands on his head. "Hi, Dad." I said quietly.

"Oh, hi DJ," my Dad didn't sound so good. "Can you sit down for a second?"

"Sure." I pulled up a chair and sat down next to me.

"I got a call from your teacher today," My eyes were wide.

"Um, yeah. What did she say?" pretending now knowing about the whole "F" thing."

"Don't lie, DJ. You know you got an "F" on the test. Is there something on your mind?" I wished he hadn't said that.

"Yeah, I was just a little busy." I replied quietly.

"BUSY! Are you kidding me? That's an "F" DJ! An "F." You know how important that test makes to your grade!" Dad was raising his voice more and more every time.

"I'm sorry. I pay more attention next time." I doubt it.

"Sorry isn't enough DJ. We have to do something about this." I already knew what he was going to say next.

"You're grounded until you pay attention in class. I am very disappointed in you---very." He walked up the stairs and when into his room.

I felt like the devil went inside me and took my whole life out of me. I wanted to die. I know I have said that many times but this time it's real. I can't stop crying about this. Bye, diary.

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Was this true? Did DJ really want to die? It can't be. She exaggerated too much. Or is she not? I wanted to tell someone fast. But, I couldn't. What if it wasn't true? I would just be wasting everyone's time. What if it is true? By the way, where is DJ? What if she's...no she can't be. I have to call her fast. I have to do something! 


	2. To Tell Or Not to Tell

Thanks for the Reviews! 

Should I talk to DJ first? What should I do? What if it's too late? So many questions. I need answers. Maybe I should keep on reading in her diary.

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February 3, 1993

Dear Diary,  
What should I do? I can't take all this stress. There's no reason to live like this! Steve has walked out of life. Dad is not even helping at all. Can't he see that I am suffering enough, and now I have to deal with school? Jesse, Becky, and Joey don't even live here anymore. I wish I had them right next to me... The only people that can really comfort me is Stephanie and Michelle. Stephanie believed me when I was 13 about not drinking at that party. I don't want to remember that night. No one believed me...except Stephanie.  
I have to figure something out. It's driving me crazy. Will I actually kill myself? And what if I will? How will I do it? Tears are running down my face, I don't want to live like this. Why me? What is the reason I have to think this way?

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There was a drip on the diary. Those were my tears. Tears, not of joy, but sadness. Regret. I could tell that DJ was writing faster and faster in the diary. Where is DJ? Please tell me that she isn't...no she can't be. My sister can't just be all of a sudden a suicidal maniac! I should tell Dad. But what if it's all a fake. What if DJ is just faking this whole thing to get back at me? What if it is true? It would be my fault that I couldn't stop her before she...she...dies. Just that word, gives me the creeps. I jumped on my bed, crying myself to sleep. My face was in my pillow, now all damp from my tears that were running down my face. I really regret this day. I should have never let my hands touch that diary. Stupid, stupid DJ.

Next day,

I woke up finding my Dad looking for something in mine and DJ's room.

"What are you looking for?" I yawned.

"Oh Steph! Good, you're up." My dad was in a rush. "I'm looking for DJ's diary."

"W...Why?" I startled.

"DJ's missing," Dad was so nervous. "And I have to know what's going on." Dad was throwing stuff out of drawers and closets and everything. "Steph, you always look in DJ's diary because you always find it. Do you know where it is?"

"Um...maybe." Dad stopped and turned to look at me.

"Steph, where is it then?"

"I can't tell you..." Dad was looking at me funny.

"And why not?" Dad was raising his voice everytime. "I need you to give it to me!"

Should I give it to Dad? Maybe this is true. Maybe DJ is really going to kill herself. But what if Dad is in this too? What if they're all paying me back from reading this diary. I can't take it anymore. But what if it _is_ true?

"I know what she's going to do Dad."

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-Stacy

Thanks guys for reading this. Please review!


	3. Complications

Thanks for the reviews! It always cheers me up! ) This is actually my first story that i'm going to keep working on...so hope you like it! 

love ya guys!

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"I know what she's going to do Dad." I spoke soft.

Dad instantly turned around and came towards me.

"Well...what!" Dad was getting too impacient.

Should I tell him? Why did I ever read her diary? Stupid, stupid Stephanie. Now I wanted to kill myself. Wait, I shouldn't say that, because I wouldn't. Unlike DJ, who I think is truthfully going to kill herself.

I finally spoke. "Um...nothing, never mind."

Dad felt like he had his hopes up for nothing. "You sure, honey?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Dad just left the room giving up. He just went downstairs and called the police about a missing girl. Dad exclaimed DJ perfectly to the police. It seemed like I would know exactly how she looked like even if I didn't know her. I could hear things like 'short, blonde hair' and 'blue eyes' and practically everything.

"Okay, thank you very much, sir." Dad hung up the phone softly. "Where could she be at a time like this?"

I could see that Dad was about to cry. I went down the stairs quietly. "Dad?"

"Yeah, Steph?" Dad didn't seem to calm now.

"I was thinking if we could, could talk." My voice seemed to get louder.

"Sure," Dad walked into the living room and sat on the couch.

I sat next to him.

"It's about DJ," I really didn't want to tell him.

"Oh Steph, what is it?" Dad was so eager to hear the news.

I just had to tell him. What if I was too late? Better late than leaving her out there. "Last night, I went into my room. I found DJ's diary on top of her desk. I couldn't help but to read it."

Dad interrupted me and said, "Steph, you know you shouldn't have...but I will make an exception this time. "So, what did it say?"

"As I was saying, I kept reading and she had a lot of problems. She saw Steve with another girl. They were kissing and it wasn't her cousin this time. Trust me. And about you all lecturing her. She said that in the diary. She got an F because she couldn't handle all the stress. And later on in the diary, she exclaimed how she wanted, wanted to..." My voice got softer and softer.

Dad was now literally about to cry. He had his hands on his head and kept shaking his head.

"Steph, what?" Dad was actually yelling. "Steph what did she write!"

Dad was shaking my shoulders and trying to get it out of me. It would kill Dad if he knew, but it would literally kill DJ if he doesn't know.

I took deep breaths.

"DJ is...is...going to..."

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I know you guys hate cliffhangers, but it's the only way to keep you reading. Sorry! Well please Review!

-Stacy-


	4. The Truth Reveals

Thanks for the reviews guys! i hate cliffhangers too...but that's what keeps the suspense.)

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"DJ is going to...going to..." I stopped for a second.

Can Dad really handle this? I mean what if he doesn't. What if he...? No...he wouldn't. But what if he does Stephanie, that phrase keeps repeating over and over in my head.

Dad stared at me and calmed down. "So, what is it Steph. Please tell me, honey."

"I just...I just can't Dad." Dad was getting more impatient now. "I'm afraid what you will think,"

"Steph, whatever you tell me, I won't get upset." Oh sure, he says that now. But what will he think when I tell him the big news.

"You promise?"

"Yes, honey, I promise."

Okay, I should go for it. If DJ dies before I tell him. I will never let my guilt go.

"Well, when I kept reading in her diary. I saw words and didn't want to see. She said she wanted to...to...to..._ki hursef_." I muttered the last two words.

Dad leaned in closer to me. "Wait, Steph what were those last two words, again? I didn't hear."

Gr. "SHE WANTED TO KILL HERSELF, OKAY?"

Dad fell onto a chair. "I can't believe it. My sweet DJ, wouldn't do such a thing."

"I'm sorry Dad, but I couldn't at first. I just c-."

Dad quieted me down. "Steph, this wasn't your fault. If you didn't read DJ's diary, then what do you think could have happened."

Of course I wasn't going to answer that.

Dad had his head on his forehead and shaking it. "This is all my fault. If it wasn't for me lecturing her, she wouldn't have gotten all suicidal."

Now I was getting impatient. "Dad! You weren't the only one making her life miserable."

"But I'm her dad, Steph. I should have talked to her more calmly. How could I be so blind from what was going on with her." Dad started to cry--and so did I.

I hugged my Dad hard.

"Dad we have to do something. What if DJ's on the urge to kill herself?"

"You're right, Steph."

Dad picked up the phone and he dialed the emergency number. "Hello, Officer. This is Daniel Tanner. I here to report there is a missing girl, named Donna Joe Tanner. Can you please look for her? Yes. Okay. Thank you very much." Dad hung up the phone.

"What did they say, Dad?" I asked him gently,

"They said they would look for DJ right away and so are we." I looked up. "Get your coat, Steph."

I got my coat off the coat rack and I closed the door behind me.

_Where are you, DJ?_

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Thanks guys, please read and review.

Stacy


	5. The Crash

Thanks for the **awesome** reviews! I love you guys! XD The reviews are what keeps me writing! so thanks: love yahs! 

I hate cliffhangers too! This chapter is really sad. It made me literally cry. Please Read Review when you are done reading this. And tell me how it was.

It's overdramatic, I know! But who cares! It's so sad. :

4.23.2006

-Stacy-

Okay just read the story now.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Full House or any of it's characters.

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**Chapter 5: The Crash**

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_Where in the world are you, DJ?_

I hopped into Dad's car. Dad was driving faster than ever before. He would never drive over 55 miles per hour. We stopped by the police office. We walked up the stairs and opened the door.

"May I help you, sir?" One policeman was sitting by his desk. "Hey! Wait! Aren't you Danny Tanner? I absolutely love your show! My wife and I have breakfast with you every morning? Well, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I have a missing daughter. I called a few moments ago." Dad was in no time for thanking his compliments.

"Oh, yes, yes. Donna Joe Tanner, correct?" He looked onto his computer.

"Yes." Dad answered politely.

"If it's no problem. I would like you to give me more details about Donna Joe." The policeman replied.

"Certainly." Dad looked at me. "Um, she has short blonde hair with blue eyes. Kinda short for her age and uh..."

I interrupted, "She, I think, had a baby blue shirt on with a pair of jeans, too." I was glad I examined her outfit carefully before she went to school. "Oh yeah! She has a light baige jacket too."

"Why thanks, uh..." The policeman didn't know my name.

"It's Stephanie."

"Of course," The policeman said. "Thank you, Stephanie."

Dad was getting impatient, again. "Can we go look for her now?"

"Of course, of course. Who wouldn't want to look for their own daughter?" He stood up and called another policeman on the phone and described DJ to him. "Oh, and by the way by name is Officer Wilson. Luke Wilson."

"Thank you, Officer Wilson." Dad was so thankful. "Thank you so much."

"No problem."

Dad and I left the police station and went back into the car. He was driving a little bit faster than before.

"Steph,"

"Yeah Dad?" I was wonderin' what he would want.

"You know," Dad was still lookin' straight ahead. "When you read DJ's diary, did it say anything bad about me?

"Um, maybe." I spoke quietly.

Dad raised his voice. "What Steph? I can't hear you."

"YES SHE DID!" Now, who's the one getting impatient?

"Well, what did she say, honey?" Dad quieted down.

"Well one time. She said she..." Should I actually say that DJ wrote down she hated Dad? That would make him more unhappy, though. Oh great! Another problem I have to worry about. Why couldn't I just have kept my big mouth shut. Stupid, stupid Stephanie!

"What Steph, what did she say about me?

"She said she h-hat-hated you and hated you so much."

Dad's hands were shaking. She was swirving and curving. I could see a tear in his eye.

"I'm sorry, Dad."

Dad was still speechless. Dad was breathing weird.

"Dad, are you okay." He started to touch his heart. What's wrong with him? "Dad! The road!" He let go of the steering wheel. "DAD!"

I saw a truck ahead of me. Dad was on the wrong lane. Then, Dad dropped his head. "DAD! Wake up! Dad no! No! No!" I felt a tear drop down. The truck was coming closer and closer. We couldn't do anything. It was too late. Dad was just there. Not moving a bit. I started crying and crying. Why? Why me? I couldn't do anything. Nothing was possible. I tried turning the steering wheel and everything. It was no point. I saw the truck's headlights blinding my eyes.

**HONK HONK!**

I just sat there in the chair. Having no hope. I looked at my hands. They were starting to shake. We have to save DJ, Dad! I couldn't look at Dad. Bye, Dad.

**CRASH!**

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Please read review guys! Love yahs!

**-S**_t_**a**_c**y**_**-**

Hope it was good _enough_!

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	6. Another Horrible Tragedy

Thanks for the reviews and encouragement! I know I left a big cliffhanger there in Chapter 5...hehe. Well I though really hard about what I should make the next chapter on...and figured it out. So please read and review again to make me happy! ReviewsMore Chapters! x3 

-Stacy-

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**Chapter 6: Another Horrible Tragedy**

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**CRASH!**

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I started to open my eyes. Everything seemed so blurry at first, and then it cleared up. _Where am I? Well duh, Stephanie, you're in an emergency room._ Then I saw a familiar face next to my bed side.

"Steph! You're awake!" I knew that face. It was my uncle Jesse. "Oh! I'm so glad you're alive, Steph!" Uncle Jesse hugged me like crazy.

"Uncle Jesse, I'm okay." Not really, but he doesn't have to know that. I have a huge headache and it hurts from head to toe badly.

Wait, where was Dad? And, we still couldn't find DJ? Maybe, I should tell Uncle Jesse about DJ, since he's here and all.

"Uncle Jesse, I have to tell you something...about DJ-"

Uncle Jesse interrupted me with that 'I already know' face. "I know, Steph."

"You're Dad told me a month ago."

_Wait, a month! Has it been that long?_

"You've been here more than a month, Steph. You sure had a knock on the head."

_Hey, wait. What about Dad? Is he okay?_

"But, what about Dad?" Uncle Jesse put his head down. "I'm so sorry, Steph."

_What did he mean? Did my dad..no. He couldn't have. No! No!_

I felt a tear go down my cheek.

"He passed away at that very moment when the truck crashed against his car." I looked at Uncle Jesse. He had to be joking. He had to be!

I started crying. A flood was coming out of my eyes. I hugged Uncle Jesse as hard as I could.

"Uncle Jesse, why does it always happen to me?" I looked at him desperately.

"I'm really sorry, Steph. It broke my heart to, listening to that nurse say those cursed words."

_I sniffed and I stopped. What about DJ? Is she still out there?_

"What about DJ, Uncle Jesse? Has she been found yet?" I asked if there was anymore hope left in my life.

"No, I'm sorry, Steph. The police haven't found her yet at all." I am so glad, Uncle Jesse is by my side. I couldn't live without him.

"And, what about me?" Look at all these bruises and cuts and bandaids. "Am I going to be fine?"

"Yes, honey you are going to be perfectly fine." Well, yeah. Just me, is it? What about Dad? He wasn't obviously okay. And...and what about my older sister? What is she supposed to do? Is she just going to die too? Well I'm not gonna let that happen?

"Uncle Jesse, I can leave now. We have to find DJ." I started to lift myself up. Even though all that agony tried to bring me down, but then Uncle Jesse pushed me down.

"Steph, you can't just leave. The doctor has to check on you and a whole another thing."

I lied back down. "But, what about D-..."

"DJ's going to fine, honey. The police are looking for her." Sure, she's going to be fine. You wouldn't even know, if she just died the next day. I mean she's been gone for practically for a month. I'm sure at least some things could have happened to her over a month.

"Uncle Jesse, it's been over a month. Don't you think something could have happened to DJ by now?"

"Steph, please don't make it hard on me." What in the world is he saying?

"What are you talking about? Is it hard that you can't even go out to find your own niece?"

"Ste-"

"No! I bet you never even tried to look for DJ, yet." I can't believe this guy, my own uncle. _What was he saying?_

"Steph, the police are already searching for her though. So really there's no need to try to find her."

"Are you saying that you don't really care for DJ at all?"

"Steph, I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying that there's no need."

"So, there's no need to find DJ. Is that it? You can't even go find your own niece?"

Uncle Jesse didn't say a word. Then the doctor finally came in.

Uncle Jesse stood up and whispered (supposedly) to the doctor. "Doctor, Steph has been losing her temper over nothing."

"OVER NOTHING? You call a lost niece, nothing? I can't believe you Uncle Jesse! After all these years, this was the real Uncle Jesse. And, I am not losing my temper!" Woah! I'm glad I got that off my chest.

_I can't believe my own, Uncle. Uncle Jesse, who I have known my whole life._

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**Please Read and Review!**

**Love yah!**

**-Stacy-**


	7. Why me?

Sorry for taking a long time to update! I was busy with homework and all that other stuff. After this chapter, I will be on hiatus. Sorry! If a lot of you review, then I might be able to post a new chapter up. 

-Stacy-

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Chapter 7: 

I keep thinking to myself, why, why, why?

Why did everything have to happen to me?

First, a lost sister, then, a dead father, and now this inconceivable uncle of mine? Now I'm just laying here, on this hard bed, with this man I don't even know anymore. But, why am I just sitting here? I stood up from the bed and got my clothes.

"What are you doing, Steph?" Jesse looked at me. "The doctor said you couldn't go home until next week."

"Why do you even care what I do? You don't care for DJ, why would you care for me then? Huh?" I just stared at him with my mouth open and walked away and slammed the bathroom door and I started to change. It was pretty hard, because of all these cuts I got from that accident. Then, all of a sudden, someone very important came up in my head. My dad, that's d-dead. The room was complete silence.

Dad, why did you have to leave me? Now, I'm left with nothing. Please, help me, Dad. Help me.

Stephanie put the toilet seat down. She sat and cried for a little more than twenty minutes. Then, she heard a slight knock.

"Go away, I don't want to see you anymore!" I started screaming with tears dripping down my ruined face.

"It's me, Stephanie. Doctor Stevens."

I slowly got up and walked to the door. And, I turned the handle and got out of the bathroom. "What do you want?"

Jesse suddenly got up and hugged me tight. "Steph, I was heartbroken to hear you cry like that...I-"

"GET OFF OF ME!" I suddenly pulled away and stumbled backwards to the wall.

"Steph, I was just...-"

"No, Uncle Jesse, please don't say anything. Just leave," I turned away disappointingly.

"I just wanted to-, never mind, bye, Steph," Jesse left peacefully and so did Doctor Stevens.

I don't know why, but I kind of regret the horrible things I said to Uncle Jesse. I mean he took care of me all these years and now he's just being all weird. If Deej isn't alive unfortunately, then who am I to live? I needed to find DJ quick, I just had to. I started putting my coat and put on the ugly slippers that the hospital gave you and I had no other shoes, so whatever. I looked out of my room door and looked both ways to see if anyone was there. The coast was clear. I started tiptoe-ing to the exit quickly and quietly. Then I felt someone grab my shoulder. I quickly turned around to see who it was. It was an old man, a very old man. "Excuse me, who are you?" I asked.

"Honey, it's me, Grandpa Dave." the old man replied.

"Uh, I don't have a Grandpa Dave."

"Of course you do, Betty." He smiled big with his false teeth. Then I realized that he was just a stranger and not my Grandpa Dave. Whew.

"Sorry, Grandpa, but I have to go, I'll see you later, 'kay?" I lied.

"Okay, Betty, I'll see you in my room later." Grandpa Dave said.

I ran away as fast as possible to the door. I didn't care if anyone saw me anymore. I wanted to find my sister, and fast. Who knows what could have happened to her while I was unconscious. I was finally out the door and luckily no one saw me, except the old ladies who were watching soap operas in the entertainment room. Odd.

Why me? Why did it have to be me that got in the car crash? Why did I have to tell my dad about DJ? Why did I have to DJ's sister? Why can't this all be just a nightmare and not real? Why...

My stomach was growling and I wanted food. I couldn't stand the food the hospital gave me. It was old like Grandpa Dave. I saw a mini pizza store across the street and I ran there. There were no cars at all. What time was it? It was almost pitch black out without all the streetlights. I went in the store and smelled the delicious smell of pizza. Then I realized that I had no money. I went back out before anyone saw me in the store quickly. I looked around for some dirty hobo clothes so it would obviously make me look like a hobo. Aha, I saw some in the dirty garbage can. Wow, that was some miracle. I put it on trying to hold my breath at the same time. I can't believe I was doing this, but I was desperate for food. I walked in the store and I saw some people back away from the stench of the hobo clothes. I walked up to the cashier trying to act poor.

"Can me have pizza please?" I tried to sound like a foreign hobo now. Wow. I'm pathetic.

The cashier clogged her nose, "Ugh! Just take it!" She threw the pizza at me and I smiled.

"Thank you! Thank you!" I ran out in a jiffy. I gobbled up the pizza in no more than two seconds.

Okay, now I had to find DJ. But, how am I going to find her in this big city. She could be anywhere! Or even dead...

What am I going to do?

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-Stacy Reviews are appreciated: 


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